


You Do Not Need To Talk

by Pkducklett



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Trauma, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I have my own headcanons about Heavy's family, No graphic depictions of trauma though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:47:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21647812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pkducklett/pseuds/Pkducklett
Summary: In which sometimes it is okay to admit when you are in fact, not doing fine.
Relationships: Bronislava/Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	You Do Not Need To Talk

**Author's Note:**

> Day 2 prompt is "rare pair". This fic takes place a few months after the end of the tf2 comics, and features my rarest rare pair. I love lesbian Pauling headcanons just like the rest of us, and truly do not mind people who ship her with Zhanna (I mean it's better than some ships with Pauling *cough*). But everyone, please consider and remember that Heavy has three sisters who all have strong girl vibes who can make excellent girlfriends.

“Even at night the desert is unbearable.”

Miss Pauling couldn’t help but stifle a chuckle. “You’ll get used to it eventually.” She said without turning around. 

“That is doubtful.” Bronislava said, arms crossed and looking down. “I assume there is reason for tiny American woman to be out here alone?”

‘Tiny American woman’ was a term of endearment, she was told. Miss Pauling didn’t let that bother her too much. Not only because she was told it was how you knew Bronislava liked you, but because ‘tiny’ was not the worst thing she’d been called. Not by a longshot, not even in the last year. Heck, not even in the last month. 

“Should not be too lost in thought. It’s not good for you.” 

“I’m fine.” she said with a sigh. “Really, I am.” Her protests sounded almost desperate. Fine is a loose term to describe the events of the last year. Truthfully she preferred not thinking about it. About the near death experiences, about the betrayals, about...well any of it. It was easy to push down during the day, her workload had tripled coming back to the States. Being the sole manager of Mann Co. and its assists made for some challenging work. She had even less free time than she did as the Administrator’s errand girl, and it was a welcome distraction to keep her mind away from focusing on how she got there. 

The bad part of her new position was, it had regular hours. Nighttime was good for paperwork, checking the books, and any other small task made difficult by daylight. However, it also gave her mind time to wander. Miss Pauling never considered herself a sentimental person, she gave that up years ago, but that didn’t soften how many times she felt the world crash down on her in those months. How many times she was humiliated, torn down. How many people, she worked with, she cared about, died in front of her. How many times success was so close, only to be swallowed by failure. 

A shift in the sand around her indicated that she was no longer alone on the ground. She glanced up to see Bronislava ease herself down to her level, scanning the sand as she finally settled next to her. For a moment, nothing was said. 

“Stars are pretty in America.” Bronislava’s voice was soft but firm. “Prettier than Siberia even.”

Miss Pauling looked up, the blanket of stars was clearly visible tonight. “You’d think you could get more stars in the mountain, being so far from everything.”

“That is only partially true. Some nights there was too much snow. Hard to see sky in a snowstorm.” 

“That’s probably true.”

“Tiny American woman did not come out to see stars, though. Did she?” 

Dammit. “No. I guess I didn’t.” 

Silence. 

“You do not need to talk.” Bronislava’s eventual break in silence momentarily startled her. “Sometimes talking helps, sometimes it does not. I know eyes like yours, you are troubled.”

She didn’t even want to think about the implications of the meaning behind such words. She glanced over, Bronislava wasn’t even looking at her. Instead the Siberian woman’s gaze was fixated on the universes above. 

“When we first went to Siberia, after we were safe. I liked to look at stars. Clear nights were very pretty. Made it easier to think everything so small when the sky was so big.” 

“I really am fine.” She could feel eyes shift onto her now. Bronislava was watching her with a strange intensity that made her only slightly disconcerted. 

“It is okay to be fine, but it is also okay to not be fine.” A pause. She felt a hand on her side. “I told you, you do not need to talk. But you do not need to force yourself to be fine either. Not now. Not when you are away from everyone forcing you to be fine.”

A lump formed in her throat and she tried to swallow it down to no avail. Instead she pulled the hand closer to her, tangling the larger fingers around her own. 

The gesture’s translation was not lost. She was pulled closer to her the other woman and, after obligingly moving, the hand was untangled but the arm was wrapped around her shoulders. Her form was so much smaller, she felt she was being swallowed by the embrace. Still she welcomed it. 

“It’s not healthy. Forcing yourself to be fine.”

She looked up. Once again, Bronislava spoke without looking at her. “I don’t really have a choice.” she explained. “Not with a company to run, mercenaries to manage, and a CEO to train.”

“All true. But continuing to force yourself to be fine only makes it worse.” 

She sighed. “Look, I really appreciate that you’re saying this. I know you’re only trying to say you care, but I can handle this. It’s nothing that I’ve not handled before.”

“Tiny American woman is not only person who looks at stars to feel better you know.”

Something clicked. “Wait, you mean to say-”

“Sometimes it’s too much.” Bronislava interrupted. “When you think about it all. When you try to reason the what and why. No matter how long ago, or how much time.”

“Is that you came out here? Not because of me, but because-”

“Truthfully did not know you would be out here. I had gotten into habit of taking late walks long time ago. When weather was not bad, I would look at stars.” Bronislava’s tone remained even despite the clear strain the words caused her. “When I did see you, it was clear you needed to be told what… what someone told me.”

Tears were now running down her cheeks, and she struggled to choke back a sob. At the same time, the embrace tightened around her. 

“Do not need to talk. Do not need to explain. It is fine if you are not fine, you need not give a reason.” the soothing words gently rocked her back and forth. 

She let herself be held tight in another woman’s arms. Though it was hard to admit how she felt, she could breathe a little easier. It was okay to not pretend right here, right now. And that. That made her feel fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay it’s headcanon time about Heavy’s family! Heavy is clearly the oldest, but Zhanna is the oldest daughter with Bronislava and Yana being twins (Broni is only slightly older). Yana is the most open of the family and is rather sweet and bubbly. She can be a tad naive and innocent but makes up with how much she cares about everyone. Zhanna is the most upfront of the bunch. She doesn’t feel the need to hide or mince words, and clearly doesn’t give a damn what others think about her. That leaves Bronislava as an odd one out. She still cares what others think about her but is less than okay with being vulnerable, and has a really hard time expressing and processing emotions normally. I imagine a lot of the walks she mentions being interrupted by her older brother who would try to help her open up and let herself be vulnerable. It must have been hard being so young and having your entire life uprooted like she did, I don’t think it’s much of a stretch to say that there are lasting consequences.


End file.
